My dad is alive, somehow, and he is fed up with my long hair. He forces me down onto something so I am face down. Next I hear clippers turning on, and then I feel them on my scalp -- He's shaving my head bald. This makes me feel very distraught and frustrated.

I encounter a very tal totem structure, somewhere around twenty feet tall. Although the day is as bright as it has ever been, the totem is so black it seems to diminish the sun, absorbing all light. Yet I see faces, faintly, carved into the material, and overlaid with glass so black as to appear like a giant three-sided monolith. I can feel its power, vast, ancient, awe-inspiring. I am convinced none of its like has been found anywhere on the Earth.

Confronted by middle-to-old age man about jewelry; says ankh is a sign of the Christian Devil. All other details are sketchy.

A beautiful woman approaches an office cubicle. She has pale skin, short black hair, and is dressed in blue and black business clothes. A fire rages behind her; she has set it. She raises a pistol, a semiautomatic, and fires into the person seated before her. She has the appearance of an avenging angel or an agent of justice. Apparently she is, or once was, an employee of the same organization.

Popeye's intersection at Brazos Mall in Lake Jackson.

Old man (not a professor) sits in a circle with fifteen other people in folding chairs in the middle of the road. Eventually, as one mind, they move out of the intersection and allow traffic to pass.

No one understands me.
No one wants to.
I'm a stranger in a strange land.

They look at me
And only labels they see.
Cultist, freakish, devil worshiper
When the only cult I see
Is everyone around me.

My mind is not their mind,
My sense is not their sense.
My logic, reason, heart, so
Unlike theirs they glare.
And they expect me to care?
Am I to be ashamed that I
Didn't grow up like them?
Must I feel so embarrassed that I
Do not think like them?

They build their world from days past;
I see it burn in a nuclear blast.
They adore the day and its harsh light;
I weep at the beauty of Mother Night.
Oh Sorrow! that these days should come to pass
Their narrow minds shall never grasp.

So let them hurl their vexations!
Let them embrace inebriations!
So strange is my intoxication with
That which gives them no elation.

*unfinished*

Hello...

I wake to a nightmare

Night seems only the herald of sleep

My only peace.



The day visits only horror

The night brings no shelter

My soul is eroding.



Hello...

I scream -- no one hears me

I bleed -- no one dresses my wounds

I sleep -- must I sleep forever?

Hello...

I meet her in the dark.

She calls to me silently.

Her eyes gleam, pale cold fire.

She embraces me with ivory limbs

Softer than silk, stronger than steel.

Her voice is poisoned honey

And is promises endless desire

And absolute terror. Entranced,

I feel only her raiment of shadow

And her skin, colder than ice

And hotter than fiery passion.

She rests her head on my neck

And I feel her kiss -- so soft

And so terrible. I never feel

The teeth, I am so ecstatic.

I want to be hers forever,

But she pulls away. Why?

My anguish is beyond measure,

Betrayal beyond reason, and

Suddenly I see her wrist

Slashed open, and I see it.

Her blood, oh Mother's Milk!

A word

A thought

An act

A moment too late


A spark -- my mind burns

A flash -- my soul quakes

A crackle -- my heart screams


No water

No salve

No solvent

Only blood

Only fire

Only ash

Only death