Wrapped in sadness, seeking solace once again,

I slowly begin to steal away into the dark corners of my mind,

I feel the cold hand of darkness brushing against my skin,

Caressing me ever so sinfully, I let my mind relax and drift away,

Giving me a false sense of pleasure, such a comforting lie,

It reaches into my chest , as breath eludes me,

Capturing my heart, in it's ice cold grasp, gripping, squeezing,

With each beat, I grow weaker, as it bleeds the light from within me,

I remain imprisoned in it's clutches, as memories and emotions fade,

Oh sweet darkness, have mercy on me, end my suffering,

Steal my lifes essence, take with it all of my pain and feelings,

Drain me dry, I beg of you, leave nothing but an empty shell,

No more light for me only dark, for this lost soul is already in hell.

Sitting alone again in my familiar dark place,

Can’t fight these tears that spill down my face,

I build back my walls and you chip them away,

So twisted and broken, why am I this way,

I don’t want to think, don’t want to feel,

All these emotions are becoming to real,

So hard to trust and give you my heart,

Can’t risk letting you tear it apart,

Only your touches can silence my pain,

Each day that passes I go further insane,

I long for your kisses and breath on my skin,

To want you so badly it feels like a sin,

I don’t want to love you, all fucked up inside,

So many feelings, I don’t want to cry,

So I take a deep breath, and let out a sigh,

Gotta clear my head, and dry up my eyes.

I have awakened from another dreamless night,

Time to battle another day,

I drag myself to the mirror, disappointed again by the reflection,

How I hate seeing you staring back at me,

A few new gray hairs, soon there will be wrinkles to compliment them,

Dark circles are still visable, you need more sleep,

Yes, let's go back to bed, hide away from your unemotional life,

At least in sleep, you won't think or feel,

No have to stay up, too much to do,

Better put on your mask again, smile that fake smile of yours,

We can't let anyone see the real Kim,

To stubborn and guarded to let anyone in,

How can you be happy this way?

Yea of course, the usual answer,

Time to pop your pills, numb away the reality,

For reality would bring actual feelings, memories, worries,

Ahh, Prozac and coffee for breakfast again, then maybe something else to numb us for lunch,

All this is because your not happy, don't we deserve to enjoy life?

So afraid of change aren't you?

Can't go on like this much longer you know,

So many emotions simmering below the surface,

When can we break down your wall?

Caring so much for others, and yet never letting them care for you,

Another year older, will you finally make a change?

Very doubtful I must say, but Happy Birthday anyways.

Sitting in my void of silence,

Nothing here to comfort me but sorrow,

I hear the faint sound of echos from the past,

My sanity has become but a stranger to me,

I feel reality slowing escaping me,

My mind drifting inward to a dark abyss,

Where is the woman I used to be,

I don't like this person I've become,

This soul no longer feels,

She just follows orders,

Like a puppet on a string,

What a sad existence you lead,

Hiding behind your mask,

Can't you hear me inside?

I'm smothering from your emotional neglect,

Oh your such a pathetic bitch!

Such a waste of a life,

I'm still here,

Buried deep inside you,

Scratching and clawing my way to the surface,

Must I open all your scars from the past?

Make you bleed so you can remember,

Fucking cry already!

Then you will at least be feeling something,

Yes the tears are flowing again,

I am still here,

Not completely lost,

Even if I'm just a tiny spec of my former self.

For so long now, I have drifted peacefully on my sea of nothingness. I was blissfully empty and numb inside. What had once laid dormant inside me, is now awakening. Spreading through my veins, driving me insane. No longer finding solace in my slumber. Ghosts come to haunt me, digging up my skeletons, putting me through hell again. Taunting me with my former self. The familiar warmth of tears spilling down, I don't want to remember. With outstretched hands I reach for the light again. I have to stay strong, been safe for too long. Why have you come for me now? Oh but the darkness is so inviting, and I grow weary of fighting. Like satin caressing my skin, my body yearns to give in. Maybe for just a little while, I can play with you. I won't be gone for long. My mind is drifting, stealing away into the darkness. Slowly it overshadows my being. drifting, fading......I'll be back soon....I promise.